Mia (mialuthien) wrote in asexuals,

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Neither butterflies nor bees...

Today, as I browsed through the posts in the asexuality, I came to the disheartening, yet very honest, conclusion that I can effortlessly and unhesitatingly relate to most ideas and sentiments expressed in the community members’ introductory posts and the ensuing discussions. Too effortlessly. With comparative ease I was able to place myself into their shoes and empathize with the emotional turmoil they are going through that stems from the frustration of being different from and misunderstood by others, others who are inherently inclined towards the approved ‘healthy’ sexual activity.

It made me realize that the vague, ineffable feeling I got every time when associating with others, the feeling that defied any exact description because of its intangible nature that originates from subjective experiences is also shared by others, and even has a valid name.

While the generic term asexuality is rather lacking in several aspects, it can still be loosely used to refer to people who are disinclined towards active sexual behaviour and lust. As one astute commenter in asexuality observed, 'I do have a sex drive, it's just not directed towards anyone' .

Asexual persons may find other people physically or aesthetically attractive, they just aren't motivated enough to act upon their attractions further than looking. It does not mean that they are always celibate, and neither are they dysfunctional or lacking in some vital sense; they just aren’t obsessed with sex.

Given the overstimulation of our libidinous senses incited by the widespread promiscuity within our mostly homogenous society, steadily imposed by porn industry and through other mediums concerned with designing products for actively heterosexual people (consider the free porn, unrestrained sex, devaluation of marriage institution, etc. aspects), a little dose of healthy restraint to clear our indoctrinated, brainwashed heads (of thoughts about the current influx of Viagra and suchlike medications, the high demand for plastic surgeries; prettified people culture, you name it) can only be a good thing.

A mindset not hindered by constant obsessive thoughts of sex, or its lack thereof, has the potential to yield a capable and happy individual, looking good and feeling very great, with an inner glow that mesmerizes other people and inspires them. Free to pursue intellectual activities, free to explore their identity, likes and dislikes, as well as get to know other people on a more personal level. Of course, in the present day society, anyone who does not conform to the popular ideas about the ‘correct’ code of sexual conduct risk being subjected to attempts to convert them to fit their models or being avoided for fear it might be contagious.

On a happier note, who says asexual people need the approval or lofty validation from complete strangers? It is our vision and personal response to life that matters. We need to lead a life of our own choosing, regardless of dissenting opinions of others.

Should anyone wonders, I'm not assexual, I just hate the way society sells sex and spreads the image that sex equals love, and obsesses over it all the time. What's the main talk in all these glamorous women's journals? – How to derive pleasure from sex! How to satisfy your man! ^^ Not that ignorance is a good thing, but enough is enough.

© mialuthien
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